Being reminded of that feeling got me thinking about the way that my feelings towards painting contests have evolved over the last few years - plus it was a good excuse to let Esske pose for some new pictures, which seems like the kind of thing a hedonist like him would like!
One of the first painting contests I can remember entering was run by the Bolter and Chainsword Forums, which must mean it was in around 2010/11 as that was the height of my presence there. I remember being crushed when my entry didn't make the first cut as I had spent somewhere near a hundred hours working on it, with some of those including being coached by an award-winning painter who took me under his wing and helped me push my entry to a far higher standard. I encountered similar feelings after entering Golden Daemon for the first time in 2018. I'd spent less time on my entry, but I still felt gutted not to see a finalist pin in the cabinet next to it after the judging had concluded and even more so because I'd been unaware that pins were no longer given to entrants as they used to be.
After both experiences I came away with my faith in my painting abilities shaken quite deeply. I've had similar 'crises of faith' after peer judged competitions where popularity appears to count for far more than capability, but the contests judged by other painters felt somewhat worse than those, however I've come to realise that with those I was perhaps missing the point a little.
Everchosen produced similar feelings in that while it was nice to have won the local competition and I rather proudly display the certificate for doing so, the real prize was something I'd worked on featuring alongside thousands of other winners for the whole world to see and remembering both of those experiences has cemented in my mind that this is the real key to enjoying properly judged competitions - winning a pin or a trophy is nice, but it should be completely secondary to the thrill of taking part by painting cool models to the best of your abilities and being able to meet and chat to folks who are doing the same thing.
All of this probably seems like it's quite common sense, rather than some profound realisation worthy of a blog post, but I thought it was worth sharing because if it was one I hadn't arrived at until I'd been painting for nearly a quarter of a century, then perhaps there are others out there with similar experiences who might benefit from hearing it said that not winning a contest doesn't mean that you're not painting to a good standard, nor does it mean you shouldn't be entering them, though it might mean you need to try something different.
It probably also bears saying that there's nothing wrong with entering competitions purely to win either, just that I think there's a lot more mileage to be had in enjoying the whole experience rather than just focusing on what is ultimately one quite small part of it.
If you'll indulge another hobby 'truism', we paint better that which we enjoy working on. That isn't to say that we shouldn't challenge ourselves with projects, but rather that the paint will flow more easily if you pick something you want to be working on to challenge yourself with. Which brings me rather smartly back to Esske, the Daemon Prince who inspired this whole post. Syll'Esske: The Vengeful Alliance was released in 2019 alongside some of the other revamped Hedonites of Slaanesh range and there were certain elements I really liked (Esske), and others that didn't do it for me so much (Syll) - don't get me wrong, I understand the concept the sculptor was going for, but Syll just looked a bit too awkward perched up there for my liking.
After a short period of working out whether I could successfully remove Syll (which was arguably fairly easy to do as it just necessitated very carefully removing her toes from the bars that they're wrapped around) I decided to just go for it, picked up the model on the way home from work one evening and set about the conversion work. What followed was a slightly more organic than normal process of painting in which I took the rough plan I had and just kind of went for it, which although a little scary at first turned out to be incredibly fun and as a result I found that not only did I want to keep working on it, but I was willing to try and push myself further on some elements of the miniature. Esske's flesh for example was initially build up with several layers of increasingly paler tones overbrushed on top of one another and then selectively glazed back to create definition. I took a similar approach to tips of Esske's 'wings' (for want of a better descriptor!) which were repeatedly glazed purple and then black until I was happy with how they looked.
One off projects like those for competitions also offer some wonderful opportunities to experiment and try out new things as well, whether it's working on models you wouldn't normally, or trying out a new way of painting something.
At some point in 2019, I'd discovered Vince Venturella's fantastic Hobby Cheating series (if you haven't come across Vince by the way, I would really recommend checking out his stuff, there's no paywalls and everything is presented in a really accessible fashion) and I really wanted to try out some of the ideas I'd seen for painting better looking stone and Esske seemed like the perfect time to push my basing game up a notch as it's something that I've both loathed and struggled with for much of the time I've been hobbying.
I suppose as with so many things, there are multiple ways to enjoy 'the hobby', but it can take time and a lot of experimentation to find a groove (or grooves) that scratch the hobby itches for you whether you're a painter, collector, gamer or some combination of all three. I definitely feel better having found a groove I can enjoy painting competitions in, which will hopefully mean I can focus a little more on some of the other areas I've not been finding as fulfilling. In any case, if you've any hobby revelations (competition related or otherwise) or experiences of competitions you're happy sharing, I'd love to hear from you and as always, thanks for reading.
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